ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?

Today is the absolute last day to take advantage of the pre-publication special! $15 bucks nabs you the first issue of Bizarro: The Random Journal of Fucked Up Magic. Tomorrow it goes up to $20 and stays there. Paypal 15 clams to bizarromag@gmail.com before midnight! You too, Mr. Sheen. You wouldn't people to start associating crazy with the name Charlie now, would you?

Time Is Short!

Little Magnolia Butterfield Abbey, seen right, died under suspicious circumstances although infanticide could not be conclusively proven aside from her mother's non-stop giggling. "What a shame," M. Goulart, the funeral director, was heard to comment. "If she could have held off for another three days she could have received the first issue of Bizarro: The Random Journal of Fucked Up Magic. Oh well." Not only that, but she could have gotten it for 20% off if ordered before March 1st, 2011. In three days the price jumps to 20 smackers, but you can get it for 15 before then by sending your Paypal moolah to bizarromag@gmail.com Magnolia would have wanted you to.

7 Days Left For Bizarro's Pre-Pub Special

That's right, there's only a week left to take advantage of Bizarro's $5 off special. What can you do with $5? Nancy Thighmistress, shown right, will personally come to your child's birthday party and perform her delightful vent act. A fun mix of singing, magic and audience participation can be yours for only five dollars, courtesy of Nancy. Or you could buy a sack of White Castles, most of a tube of hemorrhoid cream (rub it on your abs before shirtless clubbing to give you that ripped look) or a 'happy ending' massage from a homeless person. So dash off that $15 Paypal to bizarromag@gmail.com today!

BIZARRO #1 Is Coming!

Bizarro is a magic magazine devoted to the dark underbelly of conjuring. It's rude, crass and every bit as unpredictable as its publishing schedule. This doesn't mean solely the witchy-spooky side of what Bizarre Magic(k) has come to mean among Ren-fair rejects, but rather anything warped or strange or bound to impact an audience (er, in one way or another.) Sure, each issue will be crammed with twisted effects, but also a trippy blend of satire, theory and smartass remarks at the expense of others.

Bizarro is sold on an issue-by-issue basis--no subscriptions--and gets emailed to you in .pdf format. You want a paper thingy, print it out yourself. It's 20 bucks a pop. Mind you, this is no four-page newsletter. Hell, the first issue is thick enough to pass as a book. A very strange, irreverent train wreck of a book, but a book nonetheless. Hell, some fuckers charge forty clams for a 16 page pamphlet devoted to one effect, 13 of those pages consisting of the author's carrying on about how great what you've just bought is and how you can earn a living with it and of course the customary lecture on how value isn't determined by a page count.

So come on. Fork over that twenty bucks. Baby needs a new pair of tit clamps.

PRE-PUBLICATION SPECIAL!!!

Bizarro is set to launch March 1st, 2011. If you pre-order before March 1st, you can get the first issue emailed to you for $15 USD. Sorry, but PAYPAL ONLY. Paypal your 15 smackers to bizarromag@gmail.com, I'll send you a confirmation letter and you'll receive issue one on or before 3/1/11.